Monday, April 30, 2007

The Mystery of the Black Widow Spider

OK, so here's the story... of course, I am home alone. And I MEAN alone. Larry is 15 hours away in Montana playing rugby. I am home with the pooches. It's a saturday night.. I had spent the day bike riding, walking the dogs, cleaning the house and such. I decided it was time for dinner... I got up and went to the kitchen, and before you know it, I see out of the corner of my eye a BIG BLACK SHINY spider.

If you know me, you know what happened next. I squealed and ran from the kitchen. Now, we have an open floor plan, so i can still see the sucker. And he's on the ceiling. If he was on the floor, I'd sic a dog after it. Then I see him trailing down from the ceiling on a string... yay for him. He lands on the range top. Of course, the one I was going to use to cook dinner. Sigh. I think, I could turn it on and cook him, but then I'd have to reach over him and he'd probably go scrambling away and make me scream again. Then he disappears from view. Under the range. Nice. We have black ceramic range cover thingies, so I can't see him at all.

Then a shiver goes down my spine. My violin instructor, Jessie, had told me she caught a black widow spider by her bed once. I remember her telling me how impressed she was with it and how shiny it was. Shiny. Black. Spider.

I flip up my laptop and pop open Wikipedia. And there it was. My shiny black horrifying spider. And he's hiding in my stove.

So I call Larry anyhow, and I tell him "OK, can I be afraid this time? It's a black widow" He tells me to get the vacuum cleaner. I don't. I call Papa John's and get a pizza for dinner.

The next morning, I pretend he's still hiding in the stove and I get cereal for breakfast. I try to tell myself he's gone for good and won't be back. But i was wrong. Later in the day, I see something black and shiny on the recycle can in the kitchen. That's it. I'm hungry for lunch and I'm not ordering another pizza!! I got the vacuum cleaner with the long wand, and I sucked it up, and decided to suck up a few other bits of dirt and dog hair on the floor, hoping to beat it up a little. I keep the vacuum on and drag it outside to the front porch. If it's dead, well, Larry can clean out the bagless canister. If it's not dead, he can crawl out and be back outside where he belongs.

See my fear of spiders isn't always unfounded. It might not have killed me, but a Black Widow bite could hurt. I've seen pictures. I don't want to go there.