Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day One

I realized that today is the first day of m adult life that I have not been employed. Sure there are weekends, and such. And maybe I shouldn't be such a drama queen... There are many others in my shoes, and until I am late with a mortgage payment, do I really have anything to worry about?

But I will admit that when Larry walked out this morning it was a surreal feeling. He was going to work. And I was not. For the first time ever.

I really should be getting things done, but I found a mouse in the house and am having better luck getting Hobbes to chase it, than the cat. I also found baby chicks outside the barn, and had to round them back up and seal them up inside the barn. I have plenty of chores to do, and just finished a 45 minute bike ride.

But it's hard to be motivated. It's only day one, and I have yet to deal with any of my emotions. but I am trying really hard to take this one day off... and not apply for any jobs (yet). I have furiously put a budget together and have already filed for unemployment. If anyone knows me, they know I get to it on some things without the patience to wait. But that list of chores that I have all of eternity to complete... I guess I'm just going to have to take my time.

Ah well.... I'm still not sure what I am supposed to feel right now. Trying to put that job behind me and not be angry, and not second guess a million things... And I'm trying not to think about what I want to replace it, because do I really know? So I guess I need to go back to baby steps... think about making some lunch, taking a shower, and tackling some gardening projects while I have the time... hop to it KB... if you can't earn a living, you might as well earn your keep.

but I'm really scared....